Dangerous life in Eastern Canada

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Folks let me put this simply: this post is NOT at all about virtualization, desktop virtualization, storage, platform.. basically it is not about IT.

A friend went through the funniest story i heard in a while and i thought about sharing it. Some of the names have been changed.

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So it’s dangerous to live in Eastern Canada….

“Well sit back and have a read as this is one of my most memorable – day after – Thanks Giving’s……  So we have about 16 people over for dinner outside on the deck and shut down around 1:00AM. We have a couple of people staying over. At 6:00AM, *jody* gets up to get a glass of water and then comes back into the bedroom and says “*rick*, there’s Raccoons in the kitchen”. I said “what?”, “there’s Raccoons in the kitchen”.

So I get up, foggy from last night and walk into the kitchen. There are two raccoons on my bar between the kitchen and dining room. The kitchen is trashed. Food all over the place, they were into the Blueberry pie, the green bin, the fat in the roasting pan, the cat bowls, everything! When they see me they scurry into the dining room smashing glasses all over the dining room floor… imagine!

I walk into the dining room, in bare feet, and they have knocked over the bar stools and there is glass everywhere. One of them was a full glass of red wine which they managed to get all over 3 walls, the TV, all the chairs and the floor (a feat in it’s own).

Now they are in the living room hiding in the corner. So I go get a broom out of the closet and smack one of them to get them to the door and they jump on the new couches with their Blueberry feet leaving nice purple stains every step. So I walk towards them and one of them freaks out and jumps on one of the window screens and scales it to the top (I do not think the screen will keep the bugs out next year). Once it gets to the top, it unhinges at the top and he clings to the screen as it falls away from the window and lands on my Lamp and smashes it.

They then run back into the kitchen (I now have glass and broken stuff in the living room floor – still no glass in my feet). I go into the kitchen now and they are at the back screen door which is closed. At this point, *john*, one of my good friends staying over,  gets up, walks through the mess, by the raccoons, goes downstairs and emerges with a can of Ginger Ale, passes the raccoons, through the mess and back to bed without stopping or saying a thing? He must have been fuzzier than I.  The raccoons are still at the back door and I have to reach around with the broom and push the door open (hoping they don’t freak out again and attack), but I got them out.

I look around and the place is a mess, it’s like a teenage party gone wrong. Every square inch of my kitchen floor, counters bar and cupboards is filthy. The dining room has red wine everywhere with broken glass, the bar stools knocked over and the automatic cat feeder is tipped over with cat food and water everywhere. The Living room couch has a new raccoon foot pattern which does not look good, the wrecked screen spewed on the floor amongst the broken lamp. Did I mention I was tied and fuzzy? I could not deal with it so I went back to bed! Simple!

*Jody* goes to the kitchen to get the glass of water she wanted and comes back to the bedroom and says there are two more raccoons in the living room. I get back up and grab the broom. I must have missed the other two in the commotion. I herd the other two out the back door without much trouble this time (I seem to be getting better at raccoon herding). Again, I look at the trashed 3 rooms and go back to bed.

Finally, later that day it took *jody* and I, 4 hours to clean up the mess. It was hard to figure out where to start, you can’t vacuum because the floor is a sticky mess, but you can’t mop it up as there is glass everywhere. We must have left the back screen door ajar. Well that is my most recent wildlife encounter. Hope you had a good one”

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Now, i found that’s a funny story to be honest with you. See i told you it’s dangerous to live in Eastern Canada.

Now my piece to my friend where we both laugh: imagine now, there’s 4 raccoons, drunk and with a major stomached, having a blast telling their story to 40 others and planning their next party. Fun time let me tell you LOL…

Be careful when coming in our region.

Cheers Friends.

Florent

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About florenttastet

As an IT professional and leader, my objective is to help an organization grow its IT department with new and innovative technologies in order to have production at the most efficient level ensuring the right alignment in the deployment of such technologies through a precise Professional Services results in a extraordinary experience for the customer. Team member of multiple projects, I have developed a strict work ethic allowing development of superior communication skills, as well as the ability to multi-task and meet precise deadlines. As an IT veteran with a broad background in consulting, management, strategy, sales and business development, I have developed an deep expertise in virtulization using VMware and Citrix products with a strong skillset on Storage Arrays (HP, EMC, Netapp, Nimble & IBM). I have also developed a Security practice through CheckPoints NGX R65-R66 (CCSA obtained) and Cisco PIX-ASA product line. Specialties: Microsoft infrastructure products; Monitoring HPOV, SCOM, CiscoWorks, Firewalls: checkpoint, PIX and ASA. Virtualization with VMware (ESX through vSphere & View/Horizon), Microsoft (Hyper-V server, VDI and App-V), Citrix (Xenserver, XenDesktop, Xenapp), Storage (EMC, HP, Netapp, Nimble & IBM), Reference Architectures and Converged Datacenters (vSPEX, Flexpod, vBlock, PureFlex & HP Matrix)
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One Response to Dangerous life in Eastern Canada

  1. Pingback: Dangerous life in Eastern Canada | A datacenter journey

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